I was reading this other blog, who’s name has escaped me, and they said one of the hardest parts about blogging is learning to write when you don’t want to. Agreed! That is the hardest thing to do. Writing is my passion, actually I would rephrase that to creation is my passion. I enjoy making new things and creating works of art with my words. Paper is my canvas and my mind is the pen. The pen is designed to write but the ink is low. Let determination represent ink I suppose. When I don’t have that determination, I don’t write. I don’t create. I mean I bought a journal for $5 because I thought it would influence me to greatness.

Every time I write I expect to blow my own mind and the minds of others… Instantly. As I start to write, more often then not I find myself hating the flow or the speed my mind is creating. I say I’m not fast enough or I’m not even attracting myself into the writing. Maybe if I let that go then I’ll see my potential of creation truly unfold. Music is key to a solid performance for me. There is something about the notes and the depth of the music that gets my minds saturated with ink. It comes naturally. Freely flows from my mind to the canvas. The piece has to be all instrumental with no vocals. I feel like the vocalistic songs already have a story to them, as opposed to a song with no words. Instrumental songs leave the interpretation to the listener and that is true interpretation. Hence it’s the main drive behind my creation process. I’m gonna get some headphones this weekend do I can get some juices flowing.

I’d love to state I’ll be writing every day here on out and holding myself to it, however, I’ve said that before and it hasn’t happened. I’ve said, just do it Jesse. Buy a journal and a nice pen, then record the whole day each night for ever. Sell that and make millions. Right. At this stage of the game I think I’ve come to realize I’m not committed and I’m lazy. Hey! That qualifies me as a human! Lol.

However bleak my perspective is of myself, I do have a large family who believes in me and supports me in all that I do. Except getting a puppy. For some reason that’s a no no for us newly weds. Besides. Puppies are cute and a great start to the real world! Right?!

Regardless. I need to write when I don’t want to. Maybe I’ll find raw talent in those moments. Most importantly, write even though it may never be read.